Shatter yourself into broken glass and rebuild the mosaic of your life.
In the Shadowscapes deck, The Magician has his connections to the elements. I find these appealing, these four classical elements that show themselves hanging from the young man’s wings: Fire, Air, Earth, Water. Personally, I have a temptation to add Light and Dark to the assembly; always have. But those four are chief in the way I see the world.
I see myself with connections to three of the four. My temper is my Fire; my calm is my Earth; my birth is my Air, as I was born in the sign of Gemini. I find myself drawn to the wind, to its gentle touch upon me. At night, I am restless without the cool breeze upon my body, lulling me to sleep.
But I have never gotten along with Water. Not surprising, I suppose, since I have been so Fire-based my entire life. It was only in recent years that I felt drawn to Earth and Air, finding myself with these elements. Fire was the first, though. I still consider myself born of it, bathed in it, and its mortal enemy is Water. So how am I to reconcile with that which is my opposite?
Honestly, I don’t know.
The Magician is unique, to me, in that he has connections to illusory magic, or the sleight-of-hand magic that is common today. Smoke and mirrors to hide the truth, trick the mind and the eye. I consider myself to be extremely observant, a skill I have developed over the years, but even I can be fooled. We all can.
He is also akin to the Fool in that he finds himself shaking off barriers. The Magician is not bound by the world; he exists within it and makes the rules bend to him, his will. Yet he knows them, for one cannot manipulate the rules without knowing how they bend and break.
Most of my life I have spent in a state of hyper-awareness. Knowledge is my friend, however I may learn it. I collect it and bind it to me for use at a later time, yet this binds me as well. I have caged myself with the physical world and its limitations, yet my spirit and my self yearn for that which is past it. That which can only be learned through experience, not books.
I have been this way for years, terrified of finding myself outside the limits of my mind, of my imagination. Of finding myself a fool, actually. Tricking my mind and falling for that which is not real. But reality is subjective, I think. My truth and your truth may never match up, but we have still experienced that which leads us to that end.
I need to bring the tactile and the spiritual together, to bring the two sides of myself into reconciliation. This is another step in my path, another stone in the wall I build.