Last year, I made an oath to my gods. I swore on my hands, my mind, all that I was that once I could, I would honor them weekly.
As I walked to the grocery store today to get a few things, I began to feel that familiar urge to scream and the panic building up. And as I chanted my mantra under my breath, the new trigger words that I am trying to coax my brain into calming down, I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Tears threatened to fall and I raised my hands to chest level and begged the gods for strength. I begged them for the help to get through the week and next, that I did not want to spend my birthday in a mental ward, to help me get through The Boyfriend’s parents’ visit next week and give me the strength to get through my first session of therapy on Thursday. I swore on my hands, my mind, my body that once I could, I would give weekly offerings, sing their praises, and do anything that I could do for them. And I named them: Persephone, Hekate, Odin, Thor, the Stag Queen, The Morrigan, and my lord and patron Anubis.
-From “We Do No Oath”
Between yesterday, today, and tomorrow, I will finally be able to start fulfilling that promise. Alec and I went to the store yesterday with the sole purpose of getting the shelves and altar space that I needed for shrines. We decided on ten one-square-foot shelves for everyone to get their own space (and a couple extra for non-divine shrines) and a table to match my other two desks in my office/temple room to serve as an altar for Work. Yesterday, he began installing the shelves on the wall near my door; I will not be able to enter the room without first seeing the shrines now. They will also be easy to use, clean, and leave offerings at as they are within my short reach (seeing as I am only 5’4″).
The altar table I plan to use for regular Tarot readings, and to serve as Workspace and holiday shrines/altars. I still have my bookshelf that served as my old altar and I will use that to store my books and, eventually, my journals and notes on various aspects of my path. The boxes of books and icons, candles and incense have been pulled out of the closet and sit on my art desk, waiting to be unpacked, cleansed, and sained once more. All I have to do is wait for the last screws to be drilled and then the next steps can begin, cleansing the spaces both physically and spiritually and then assembling the shrines.
There are still items to be bought and made, but I am happy to see these first steps being taken. I am happy that I can finally begin to fulfill my oath.